I wrote Wild Light whilst going through, and coming out of a time of grief.
Turning to my guitar I would play alone more than usual, not having the words, not being able to sing or say what I mean.
Some days I was stone cold numb, other days I would be moved within and felt a stirring and the tears would flow.
Wild Light is more of an interlude, a fleeting moment, words and grief released like the sun breaking through for an hour on a heavily clouded day.
About Wild Light
Someone had told me I was going through the “long dark night of the soul”, this did fit the description, (only add another year or two to the one long dark night)!
Grief was exhausting me, in an usual measure. I remember being so tired every day for over a year, that I could actually have slept on a washing line. Suffering insomnia too, it had been an especially horrible episode.
But unexpectedly, there was a tipping point where I felt my energy returning.
It was a bit like the beginnings of …waking up after a long sleep, a bear after hibernation, the first signs of spring time daffodils after a fierce winter.
I had been praying, and the more I talked to my daddy divine, the more I felt like I was thawing out, warming up and being built back up again.
//My Thoughts were:
In a dark room if someone lights a candle or turns on the light, the room is no longer able to be dark anymore.
The light always extinguishes the dark.
In a power cut you stumble around stepping on lego, or stubbing your toe on the chair leg whilst trying to navigate to the electric meter.
And when the light finally comes back on, you notice things that maybe you had overlooked before.
Note: Do not walk too close to the chair leg, and always wear slippers after kids have played with lego!
The problem with black outs in life that is that they can come out of nowhere, with no word or warning, and they are beyond our human control.
We have to wait for the sun to rise… “The long dark night of the soul”.
I am a passionate person, so I love hard, and I suffer loss heavily, grief grabs me hook line and sinker.
So as I was sensing “hope and joy” flickering on and off and slowly returning, I started seeing my life in a different way.
“Death and birth” are much more real and important when you are experiencing them, especially going through grief, eternal concepts begin to get a lot more thought time.
For me the following verse took on a whole new meaning, I’m still standing on this promise.
“Arise and shine for your light has come and the glory of the Lord is risen upon you. (NIV)
Wild Light Lyrics
“Can’t seem to say what I mean
Love came an swept my brain clean
Hooked in feels so good to win
Pleasure for pain, only love to gain
I can’t seem to say what I mean
You awaken wild light
Translucent colours flood the night
No shadows of turning, fierce like the desert sun
Wakes up love rise shine